When Your Husband “Defriends” You…
By the time I got hired as a Social Media Community Manager (yes, it’s a mouthful!), I had been acting as a social media marketer for 2 years, using it as a communication tool for my small translation business (ATG Translations). My husband, being the traditional type, was not aware of the power of social media until I was fully immersed in its world. First, he refused to believe it could be a useful marketing tool but, eventually, he realized how far away from the truth he was… and so much more. Now, he’s an avid user of Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn.
This learning curve didn’t run as smooth as it sounds, especially when it came time for both of us to interact in the same platforms. From messaging each other through Facebook while sitting in the same room, to sending each other articles via Twitter, social media quickly became an almost necessary tool of communication. After 2 years in this world, I pretty much had objectives and processes figured it out: I knew the purpose of my Facebook account (mostly, personal use); I was fully aware of what I wanted to accomplish with my Twitter account and how would I manage it; LinkedIn always served as my online CV; and Pinterest has become both an organization tool for infographics I find across the Internet and THE place where I go when I want to unplug my brain. Basic stuff but still and always adapting.
Having a head start is not as advantageous as it may seem. The day soon came when my husband defriended me on Facebook. He posted a comment on a Facebook status that I shared from my employer’s Facebook page. I decided it was a little out of place for the entire agency to read it, so I went ahead and deleted it. The “defriending” argument was based on censorship. Yes, my gringo husband can be as passionate as us Latinas!
Let me give you a little background: My husband and I been together for 10 years, married 8 out of the 10, and have a 7-year old son. My house sometimes feels like a cultural battleground – South vs. South [South America's Southern Cone]) -, where the terms socialist and tea-partier are heard on a regular basis. We survive in spite of these differences. I promise if you ever come visit, you’ll have a blast!
Eventually, he understood the intricacies of Facebook such as if I share X, this or that people will be able to see it, etc. A thorough explanation of how this platform works was all it took to regain his [social media] love for me… which took several days of work.
After doing a little digging, I’ve realized I’m not the only one that got affected by Facebook at some point in her relationship. In her Atlantic piece, professor Zeynep Tufekci explains that “social media is propelling transitions and disruptions in the composition of social networks. Increasingly, what used to be a given (social ties you inherited by the virtue of where you lived or your familial ties) is now a task (social ties based on shared interests and mutual interest). Surely, there will be new winners and losers.” For this reason, you need to know why and how you are using social media. Just because its use makes you feel good – which it has been scientifically proven that it does -, doesn’t mean that cannot hurt us in some shape or form. Since I’m not a psychologist and, obviously, I need some of this advice myself, I chose a simple article on Women’s Day that summarizes what can we do to avoid Facebook from ruining our relationships by implementing 8 easy habits:
Do you have a social media arrangement with your significant other? Are these 1st-world issues even a problem in your household? What’s YOUR story?
[Social Media's Growing Impact on Relationships - Find the full infographic here.]
Posted by Silvina Jover-Cirillo | 22 comments